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<pre style="font-weight: bold;">Laughter  Laughter is a good healthy way to release tension and emotions.Laugh more often,look for the funny side of life.A good belly laugh is a good for the soul.Watch comedy on Tv,read comical books,get some or hire some comedy videos or go to watch live comedy theatre.Lighten up and enjoy life NOW! 90 % OF WHAT PEOPLE WORRY ABOUT ARE IMAGINARYPOSSIBILITIES THAT NEVER OCCUR.``What if this happens?`` ,what if,is the classic statement to creating imaginary possibilities.Your subconscious mind reacts to what is real or imaginary the same way.It doesn not see a difference between a thought created from your interaction with reality,or a thought created out of your imagination.My advice people : take a break.stop beeing so serious all the time.take a look around you.there has to be something funny to see. Good luck!! |
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| Forums | Topics | Replies | Last Post | 
| funny things that happend
``You attempt to extinguish a grease fire by pouring water on it.`` this one i`ve tried it myself..and trust me..i`ve never been so scared in my life .:o but i`ve learned my lesson...hope so anyway..till next time that is :D
| 2 | 2 | When: 6/23 6:18a
In: YOU KNOW IT'S A BAD..
By: Anca Cristina |
| Quotes :o
Collected Quotes from Albert Einstein "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction." "Imagination is more important than knowledge." "Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details." "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax." "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." "The only real valuable thing is intuition." "A person starts to live when he can live outside himself." "I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice." "God is subtle but he is not malicious." "Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character'" "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." "The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility." "Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing." "Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind." "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds." "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler." "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen." "Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it." "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." "The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education." "God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically." "The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking." "Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal." "Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding." "The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible." "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." "Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school." "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing." "Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater." "Equations are more important to me, because politics is for the present, but an equation is something for eternity." "If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut." "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." "As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality." "Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods." "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." "In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep." "The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead."
| 2 | 0 | When: 6/23 6:41a
In: Part 3..i think :)))
By: Anca Cristina |
| a bit of history..the funny facts actually !! :P
THE WORST HOMING PIGEON This historic bird was released in Pembrokeshire in June 1953 and wasexpected to reach its base that evening. It was returned by post, dead, in acardboard box eleven years later from Brazil. THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE During the firemen's strike of 1978, the British Army had taken overemergency firefighting and on 14 January they were called out by an elderlylady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty. So gratefulwas the lady that she invited them all in for tea. Driving off later, with fondfarewells completed, they ran over the cat and killed it. THE WORST HIJACKING We shall never know the identity of the man who in 1976 made the mostunsuccessful hijack attempt ever. On a flight across America, he rose from hisseat, drew a gun and took the stewardess hostage. "Take me to Detroit," he demanded. "We're already going to Detroit," she replied. "Oh ... good," he said, and sat down again. THE WORST BANK ROBBERY In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank ofScotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They had tobe helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone, sheepishly left thebuilding. A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention ofrobbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them. When they demanded5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it was apractical joke.
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| APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT
NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever`s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn`t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that`s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility SALARY: Less than I`m worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they`re better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I`m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I`d like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise. SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
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| Good advices!!
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME..............! My Mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me." My Mother taught me MEDICINE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way." My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!" My Mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?" My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!" My Mother taught me HUMOR... "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up. My mother taught me about GENETICS... "You are just like your father!" My mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a barn?" My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand." My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just wait until your father gets home." My mother taught me about RECEIVING... "You are going to get it when we get home and my all time favorite thing" My mother taught me about JUSTICE... "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU..then you'll see what it's like." Every Mother has probably said that last one. And it works out just the way she hoped......
| 2 | 0 | When: 6/23 6:42a
In: While we are at this..
By: Anca Cristina |
| What to DO!!
How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity! At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. Insist that your email address is: Xena_Warrior_Princess@companyname.com or Elvis_the_King@companyname.com Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN." Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.' Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think." Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophet Jimmy." Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way. Don't use any punctuation. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." Sing along at the opera. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender. Send email to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in stall 3." Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies. Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!" When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!" Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do." Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here!"
| 1 | 1 | When: 7/27 4:27p
In: Watch out!! :D
By: jarek zdzisiek |
| come on guys and gals..you can all post jokes...:D
:)It`s your choice ofcourse.It would be great to see what will happen :D
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| FUNNY FACTS
People spend about two weeks of their lives at traffic lights! Left handed people live slightly shorter lives than right handed people. Armadillos are able to contract leprosy. Ten years ago, only 500 people in China could ski. This year, an estimated 5,000,000 Chinese will visit ski resorts. The ant, when intoxicated, will always fall over to its right side. The original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy. Toxic house plants poison more children than household chemicals. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores. In Bahrain, a male gynecologist can only examine a woman's private parts through a mirror. If the entire population of earth was reduced to exactly 100 people,50% of the world's currency would be held by 6 people. In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. Fewer than half of the 16,200 major league baseball players have ever hit a home run. A snail can sleep for three years. Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined. Turtles can breathe through their butts. Pearls melt in vinegar. Walt Disney was afraid of mice. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
| 2 | 4 | When: 7/21 4:23a
In: Weird facts
By: Anca Cristina |
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