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Hey yaa GUYZ , Dis is TIA Me inviting u 2 share all ur happy moments with us .love you all
Google ki Aarti
Om Jai Google Hare !!
Swami Jai Google hare
Programmers ke sankat, Developers ke Sankat,
Click main door kare!!
Om Jai Google Hare !!
Jo Dhyawe vo pawe,
dukh bin se man ka, Swami dukh bin se man ka,
Homepage ki sampatti lawe, Homework ki sampatti karave
kasht mite work ka,
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!
Tum puran search engine
Tum hi internet yaami, Swami Tum hi internet yaami
Par karo hamari Salari, Par karo hamari apprisal,
Tum dunia ke swami,
Swami Om Jai Google hare.
Tum information ke saagar,
Tum palan karta, swami Tum palan karta,
Main moorakh khalkamii, Main Searcher tum Server-ami
Tum karta dhartaa !!
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!
Din bandhu dukh harta,
tum rakshak mere, Swami tum thakur mere,
Apni search dikhaao, sare reasearch karao
Site par khada mein tere,
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!
Google devta ki aarti jo koi programmer gaawe,
Swami jo koi bhi programmer gaawe,
Kehet SUN swami, MS hari har swami,
Manwaanchhit fal paawe.
Swami Om Jai Google hare.
FUNDA OF LIFE
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
______________________________ OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUCATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
10 most stupidquestions people usually ask in obvious situations and some equally stupidanswers:-
1. At the movies: When you meetacquaintances/friends
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Well,it's so hot , there were no cool cabs
so I thought I'd watch some advertisements in
the cool comfort of the theatre.
2. In the bus: A fat girl wearingpointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did thathurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....
why don't you try again or should i try this
time."
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyedpeople ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why?Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you askthe waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah" dish good
Answer:-No, its terrible and made of adulterated
cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together.Whensome distant aunt
meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you've become so
big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces herwedding, and you
ask
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No, he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive
lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnightby a phone
call
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India at
Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik
was betting with me that Pakistan would
win. What do you think?
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently
shorter hair
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects
in your mouth
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell me
if I bite.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman
asks
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
Answer:-No, it's a miracle ...........
it was a chalk and now it'sin flames!!! Women are always Clever
Man: "
Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "I know how to please a woman
."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."
Man: "Hey Cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there
?"
******
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________ WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......:-)
PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING
ON THE PHONE.
TAKE A LOOK:
1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
-----------------------------<wbr>-----------
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
------------------------------<wbr>--------------------
3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
------------------------------<wbr>--------------------
4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
------------------------------<wbr>--------------------
5). Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
------------------------------<wbr>--------------------
6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####
------------------------------<wbr>--------------------
7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ////-----+++
------------------------------<wbr>--------------------
8). Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
Tech support : ??????
------------------------------<wbr>--------------------
9).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$
------------------------------<wbr>--------------------
10). Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
------------------------------<wbr>--------------------
11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech support : @@@@@
------------------------------<wbr>--------------------
12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
------------------------------<wbr>--------------------
13). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : *** ---- ++++
------------------------------<wbr>--------------------
The best of the lot
14). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his
computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and
it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is
frustrated and fed up.
Tech support:: (hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is
an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let
me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the
file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech support : (hush hush)
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
-----------------------------<wbr>--------------------
Hight Of all (Too Good)
15) customer care officer: I need a product identification number right now
and may I help u in
finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
=====-----=====-----=====
Flirting Program in C++
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| Forums | Topics | Replies | Last Post | 
| KBC
With Santa Singh The Story So Far... Santa Singh has answered 12 out of the 15 questions correct and has used all his lifelines except for "50-50" and "Phone a Friend". Santa Singh is playing the 13 th Question now which is for 25 Lacs. Let's see what happens next... J Amitabh Bachchan: Apka 13thquestion 25 lakh ke liye, yeh raha aapke saamne aapki Computer Screen par... Santa Singh gets Tense... Amitabh Bachchan: Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan? Your options are... Amitabh Bachchan: To Santa Singh Jee kya Jawaab hai aapka? [He's quite sure that Santa will opt for option A] But Santa is surprisingly still confused... Amitabh Bachchan: Aapke paas abhi bhi do life line baaki hai... 50-50 and phone a friend. Agar aap chahe to unhe use kar sakte hain. Wo aap hi ke liye banaayi gayee hai. Santa Singh: I think it is A, but I'm not sure. Amitabh Bachchan: Not sure, Hmmm... Aap kya karna chahenge? Santa Singh: I would like to use 50-50... Amitabh Bachchan: Ok Computer Jee, Kripya 2 galat javab mita deejiye... Computer deletes two names, and leaves the following options: Now Amitabh Bachchan gets confused and worriedly thinks if the Computer is actually right or has got some bug!. Santa Singh gets all the more Confused after the 50-50 Lifeline... Santa Singh: I would like to use my last life line too - Phone A Friend... Amitabh Bachchan: Aap kisse baat karna chahenge!? Santa Singh: Main aapki Misej [Mrs.] Jaya Bachan Ji ko phone karna chahoonga... Amitabh Bachchan Faints !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan [Thanks to AirTel J ]... Santa Singh: "Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?" receiving reply from JAYA Santafaints.. GUESS WHY????????? ?? Scroll Down | | | | V | | | | V Options kya hai ?
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| IT COmpnies
1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT 2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output 3. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses 4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions 5. INFOSYS : Inferior Offline Systems 6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping 7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds 8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines 9. SATYAM: Sad and Tired Yelling Away Madly 10. PARAM: Puzzled and Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors 11. C-DOT : Coffee during Office Timings 12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible 13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort 14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers 15. BFL : Brainwash first and Let them go 17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd. 18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India 19. ORACLE: On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees . 20. PATNI : Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments
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| Feel Free
Fell Free to post ur jokes or any funny incident.So tat atlest u can make peole smile.Dis group is for people who luv to laugh n can make others laugh 2.
| 1 | 0 | When: 10/20 12:45a
In: How INDIA and PAKIST..
By: ritesh shah |
| No Erotic Stories
Plz don't post the erotic stories in dis group .If anyone is interested in doin tat , kindly leave the group.
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| Stories
Dear friends please come ahead and share all the stories you have with all the friends in this group The stories may be farytale or reality or anything. But yes definitely not erotic.
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